Bottoms Up

Wow, it’s been a whole year since my last post. I always plan on doing one at least monthly and well, life. What can ya do?

Since last year, not much has changed, but so much has. Bad things happened. Things I thought might surely kill me. But they didn’t. And here I am. Nowhere to go but up. And that isn’t a bad place to be.

I’ve taken time to collect myself, learn to respect myself and grow up. And become the woman I knew I could be. I thought myself weak, until my 20-year-old son told me I was the strongest woman he knew. That said a lot to me. It woke me up. Someone was watching me battle not just what life was throwing at me, but my inner demons as well. And he was impressed.

I’m OK now. And that is something I haven’t been in….I don’t know when. I am whole. I have the love of an amazing family. A roof over my head, food on my table. I could choose to look at the bad and get angry. But why? What does it solve? Nothing.

Will I ever date again? Find love? I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. I’m ok with it either way. I like sleeping in the middle of my bed, enjoying the freedom to stretch out and relax. Not delegated to one side or the other. The whole damn thing is mine. And it’s nice.

Sometimes, I miss having that one person who always has your back. The person who wants to hear everything about your day. But, it’s something I can live without. And I will. If the universe sees in its wisdom to send me someone, I will welcome them with open arms and a full heart.

Until them, buttoms up. Your coffee is getting cold.

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About kelley715

Soon to be divorced (again) mom to two and grandma to a special little peanut. Trying to figure out what I'm doing, where I'm going and how to make it through life.
This entry was posted in Divorce, Family, Musings. Bookmark the permalink.

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